Turkey Day Vittles

I hope everyone has survived the food coma that is Thanksgiving or the hell that is Black Friday shopping.  I forego that most hated of all shopping days.  I worked in retail for five years.  I saw first hand the ridiculous things people will do for a $10 Care Bear.  So instead of all that craziness, let's talk about food!

My mom made all the potatoes {sweet potatoes covered with marshmallows and cheesy potatoes} and the green beans.  It always helps to outsource a few dishes!  I did more pre-planning that I have in the past, which is great and I think I'll try to remember to do more earlier next year too!

On Monday, I made the herb butter for the turkey. I love basil.  I love garlic.  Goes without saying that I love pesto.  Waiting for that butter to soften enough to mix together just about killed me.  I kept walking in the kitchen and poking the sticks of butter.

Basil Herb Butter

-2 teaspoons of dried basil (I would rather have used fresh, but it's expensive and NO ONE in our little town carries fresh)

-2 sticks of buttah, softened

-6 cloves of garlic (chopped and then chopped again, really chop it)

-2 tablespoons of lemon juice

-Mix together the dried basil, garlic, and lemon juice.  Realize that the butter is still not softened enough, fix a cup of coffee and stare at the unsoftening butter.  Come back after the second cup and throw that butter in the stand mixer, dump in the basil mix, turn the mixer on low, low, low speed.  Tada!  Herb butter!  Put it in a small dish, refrigerate until you need it!  

I also decided to make my own ice cream.  I don't have an ice cream maker so it took a little looking to find a recipe that was as simple as I could find.  Thank goodness for Pinterest!

Easy Homemade Ice Cream without a Machine

via Kevin and Amanda!

{Cinnamon Bun version}

-2 cups of heavy cream

-1 (14oz.) can of sweetened condensed milk

-3 tablespoons butter, melted

-1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

-1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

-Pour heavy cream into mixer.  Whip.  Whip it good.  (You knew I was going to go there, right?)  While that is mixing, pour sweetened condensed milk into a separate bowl, mix in butter, cinnamon, and vanilla.  Once the cream is whipped to stiff peaks, fold in the condensed milk until it's all blended and delicious and m'mmmm..... cinnamon bun...  

Pour all into a 2 quart dish (I used one of my glass bread pans) and freeze for at least 6 hours.

Definitely check out the other recipes on the Kevin and Amanda blog.  There is one that uses Krispy Kreme donuts!

On Tuesday, I premade the bacon wrapped cheese stuffed mushrooms. I honestly just saw this picture on Facebook. I couldn't find an exact recipe, but come on. It's real simple.

Bacon Wrapped Cheese Stuffed Mushrooms

-fresh mushrooms, as many packages as you think y'all will eat, we used two
-string cheese
-bacon

Wash or wipe dirt from mushrooms, remove stems.  If you wash them make sure that you pat the excess moisture away.  Slice string cheese into 1/2 inch pieces.  No need to be too precise with that because some mushrooms are larger than others.  I just winged it.  I cut the slab of bacon in half and wrapped each mushroom with half a piece of bacon.  Cook in a preheated 350F degree oven for 20-ish minutes.

Then I sat all day on Wednesday wondering if I should be cooking something else.

The big day arrived.  I took my turkey out of the fridge, removed the bits, rinsed her thoroughly, and patted dry.  I took my herb butter that I'd let sit out and get to room temperature and spread it under the skin along the breast side of the turkey, then spread it all over the skin on the breast, legs, wings, errreywhere.  Put that bird in the oven and away we go!  I took a walk on the wild side and cooked my turkey a little differently from the way I usually do.  I left it uncovered and basted it (every thirty minutes after the first hour) with 2 sticks of melted butter.  Then covered it for the last 45 minutes or so.  It was awesome.  See this unattractive yet falling off the bone photo!?

I made cornbread in my iron skillet and then this amazingly easy pear cobbler!  Most people make pumpkin pie or apple pie for Thanksgiving dinners and I wanted to make something a little different.

Pear Cobbler 

- 1/2 cup or 1 stick of butter

-3/4 cup milk

-1 cup sugar

- (2) 15 oz. cans of pear halves in heavy syrup, cut into bite size pieces

-3/4 cup of self-rising flour

Put the butter in the baking dish and place it in a pre-heated 350F degree oven until the butter melts.  While the butter is melting, stir together the sugar and flour.  Slowly stir in the milk and mix well.  Remove the dish from the oven, pour the batter over the melted butter and DO NOT STIR.  Place pears on top of the batter and slowly pour the syrup over the pears and DO NOT STIR.  Bake the cobbler for about 30 mins.

I'm only including the chess pie debacle because this could happen to anyone.  I used the chess pie recipe in one of Paula Deen's cookbooks.  It's not the recipe that I used last year, but since I couldn't find it and a chess pie is so easy to make I figured, what could go wrong?!  Not cooking it long enough.  That's what could go wrong.  Her recipe says to cook for only 35-45 minutes or until the top is browned nicely.  On hindsight, and after looking at several other recipes after the fact, you should really cook these pies for about 55 minutes.  My pie never set up and it was because that shit didn't cook long enough.

And I made the crust from scratch!!  *stomps foot*  Can I just scoop out all that chess-ness and eat the crust?!?!

Made from Scratch Apple Pie

It's no secret that I love to bake goodies.  I have never attempted to bake a pie though.  For her birthday, Kaia requested I make her an apple pie.  She's on a Supernatural bender.  Neflixing the shit out of it.  Dean loves pie so Kaia loves pie.

I used four recipes to complete the pie.  The crust recipe from the book that came with my mixer, two recipes from the Pioneer Woman, and the super simple whipped cream recipe I shared in June.  It sounds a little excessive, but it was really much easier than expected.

All the ingredients:

Just 10 things.  There are 11 items pictured, but I changed what crust recipe I was using at the last minute and did not use the vinegar.

First up: KitchenAid Pie Pastry (right here is where I would link to the recipe if it were on the internet...)

What you need:  2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, 3/4 teaspoon salt, 1/2 cup shortening, well chilled, 2 tablespoons butter or margarine, well chilled, 5 to 6 tablespoons cold water.

What to do:

-Place flour and salt in bowl, mix well.  (In stand mixer, stir speed for about 15 seconds.)
-Cut shortening and butter into pieces and add to flour mixture, use pastry cutter to cut them into flour. (In stand mixer, stir speed and mix until shortening particles are size of small peas, about 30-45 seconds.
-Add water 1 tablespoon at a time until dough is just moistened and begins to hold together. Divide it in half, flatten slightly, wrap in plastic wrap, and chill in the refrigerator for 15 minutes.
-Roll half the dough out until it's 1/8-inch thick between wax paper (I used parchment paper), place in pie dish.  Finish it off with pie filling.  Bake as directed.

I only used one of the two because the recipe for the pie itself has THE MOST AMAZING CRUMB TOPPING so I refrigerated the other half to use later.

I peeled, cored, and sliced the apples according to the Pioneer Woman's Scrumpcious Apple Pie recipe.  I used all Granny Smith apples, but it was a little more tart than I would have liked so next time (and there will totes be a next time) I think I may mix in some Red Delicious because my brain was thinking about baked apple, but my mouth said tart apples.  Tossed the apples with lemon juice, sugar, flour, and a little salt.  Then I made that crumb topping.  M'mmmmm..... crumb topping...

At first, I thought the recipe was a misprint because it states to cut 1 1/2 sticks of butter into 1/2 cup of flour, but it is totally correct and as I was cutting it in I realized it mixed up very well.  Then you add in brown sugar, quick cook oats, and a little salt.  Put the apple mixture in the pie dish and top with the crumb topping.  I meant to take a photo because this pie was heaping!  I thought I was going to need a bigger dish!  Instead I just squished it all down, covered the edges of the crust with aluminum foil and baked, baked, baked.  After about 25 minutes, I removed the foil and continued to cook for another 30 minutes.  With five minutes left, add some chopped up pecans.

While that was cooking, I moved on to the caramel sauce, another first, and I followed the Pioneer Woman's Easy Caramel Sauce recipe.  Ermahgerd.  So easy.  So damn good.  You just put brown sugar, butter, half-and-half or heavy cream (I used heavy cream because I also made my own whipped cream), vanilla, and salt in a sauce pan.  Warm and stir. Sample. Sample again just to be sure.  If you think it's too thin, continue cooking.  I followed her directions though and once I let it sit and cool a bit on the counter while the pie was cooking, it thickened up nicely on its own.

As soon as I took the pie out of the oven, I drizzled it with caramel sauce.  When I thought I had added enough, I added more.  I had a lot left over so I put it into one of those El Cheapo condiment dispensers and I may or may not (of course I did!) put some in my coffee in the morning.  Letting the pie cool was the hardest thing to do, but it gave that caramel sauce time to form a nice caramelly crustiness on top of the brown sugary crumb topping.  M'mmm... camamelly crumb topping.....

Then I smacked some whipped cream on that shit and drizzled yet more caramel sauce on top.  And we all sat around drooling, mmmmm'ing, and in awe of the fact that the pie crust turned out awesome!

I was pretty apprehensive about this whole thing.  Pies look so intimidating to me, but this all came together so well.  And really, just 10 ingredients.  I'm already thinking ahead to the holidays.

You get a pie!  And you get a pie!  And, yes, YOU GET A PIE TOO!

*I included the pie crust recipe because it was from a book, but I didn't share the exact recipes of the others because they are easily found online.  Plus I didn't want to even remotely be accused of infringing on anyone's copyright.  Ya feel me?